Did NOT think this was possible

My family came over tonight for Jai's Mission Call opening and there were BROWNIES.
They smelled SOOOOOOOOOOOO good.

And I did not eat ONE.
NOT ONE!!!

Usually in this situation I'll mindlessly eat and eat while I enjoy spending time with the fam, but tonight was different.
I just kept saying to myself, "I want a smaller number more."

I know that I need to be patient, but it's freaking hard.
I want to lose 20 pounds a day at least with the effort that I'm putting in now, but I know that's not possible.

Don't give up Amy.
Don't EVER
EVER
EVER
Give up.

Don't end the summer being the same person that you began .

That's all.

I dunno...

Whelp...keepin on, keepin on...

Batteries ran out on my scale SO had to weigh myself at curves...after drinking water so needless to say, it was more than I think it should have been. BUT, still hangin in there.

I feel like I've made some small victories though.
Every. single.night. I have wanted a BIG, JUICY, BURGER so bad...but I've wanted a SMALLER NUMBER IN THE SCALE MORE!
So that's what I keep telling myself: "I want a smaller number on the scale more, I want a smaller number in the scale more..."
There have been more than a few days that I haven't eaten any meat at all. And that is pure craziness, but good I guess.

I just need to be patient. I'm becoming more and more tempted to jump on the HCG wagon, just so I can get some results FAST.
I also really, really, really want to have 2 days of binging to start me off...oh, Mimi's Cafe sounds so freaking good right now.

We'll see.

Anyway, here are my last couple of days

Monday
Energy Bar -2
Curves lunch-12
Protein shake - 3
Quesadilla-5
Melba toast with laughing cow -2
Energy bar with 1/2 cup almond milk -2

TOTAL = 26

Tuesday
Shake -4
3 eggwhites -2
veggie sausage -2
crispy taco -3
quesadilla -5
1 pizza roll -1
Pirates booty, 1 ounce -3
Energy bay with almond milk -2
Melba toast with laughing cow -2
lettuce and cheese from kids taco's- 4

TOTAL =28
I WANT A LITTLER NUMBER ON THE SCALE TOMORROW!!!

Feelin pretty positive

Totally killed it today!

Shake -4
Quesadilla -5
Lemon Pepper Fish -4
Kettle Chips -2
3 energy bars -6
Melba toast with Laughing cow -2
WW string cheese -1

2 points leftover :)

Ran 1/2 mile, walked 1/2 mile..thank goodness it started raining, because I wanted to be DONE!
Tonight I got corndogs for the girls from Arctic Circle and Double Doubles for the guys from IN-N-OUT and didn't eat ANY OF IT!
VICTORY!!!!

I needed this...

Jack Sh*t

because I seriously want to cry.

Woke up feeling great...with eating as healthy as I possibly could and working out and running around. I thought I at LEAST had to have lost 2 pounds. Did I??
NOPE.


Gained an EFFING OUNCE!!!

Whatev.

Thursday

shake -4
Black bean veggie burger with 1/4 avocado and salad -6
Melba toast with laughing cow-2
" " " " " -2
2 energy bars -4
1 energy bar -2
Black bean veggie burger with 1/4 avocado & Salad again...-6
Total =26
yee haw.

Tuesday and Wednesday

I don't know what else to say about yesterday... Totally did awesome...until GLEE came on and I ate 2 bags of M&M's.

But whatev. They'll just come out of my anytime points. Cool.

Today (Wednesday)

26 points, + 5 Curves 30 minutes, 537 calories

Shake -4
2 quesadillas with kidney beans and babybel gouda (YUMMMMM) -10
Shake -4
Garlic Melba toast and laughing cow cheese- 2
2 cans green beans -0
11 mickey mouse nuggets -11

Total=31. alrighty, I'll take it.

Best ever!

www.jackfit.blogspot.com

Check it out...

Monday, Monday, Monday

Shake- 4
PB Luna Bar- 4
3 egg whites with 1c. spinache -2
2 veggie sausages- 4
8 lowfat seafood wantons -7
Lean cuisine Chicken Carbonara -5
1 1/2 zucchini w/ 1 tbls. sesame dressing -1
+2 bonus work out at curves 594 calories burned

= 1 point left

I was going to try running tonight, but I just ate and don't want to throw up all over the track :)
maybe tomorrow.

Please tell me that this will get better....

I am freaking obsessing about food!
How many hours it's been since I last ate...how many hours till I eat again....what I'm going to eat...how many WW points is it...what if I go over my points....

I'm going crazy seriously.
All of the thinking about food makes me feel super hungry, even though I shouldn't be. Something has got to give.

Anyway, here's my Friday and Today
(Not really going to talk about my Saturday because the day started with waffles and went pretty downhill from there :)

Friday
Shake 4
Shake 4
Steel cut oats 3
2 Veggie sausages 4
Shake 4
Lean Cuisine Pizza 5
Melba Toast w/laughing cow cheese 2
=26

Today (Sunday)
Shake 4
Shake 4
Steel cut oats with 2 veggie sausages 7
shake 4
Lean cuisine chicken carbonara 5
Melba toast with laughing cow cheese 2
=26

I'm planning on going to the gym every freaking day this week. I have to.
I hope this obsessing is short lived :)

Another Jack Sh*t

This Is Your Day
Welcome to "Same Old Sh*t" Saturday, where I brush the dust off of old posts and pawn them off as "refurbished". If I wasn't such a nut-job, I'd write more posts like this one...

This is your day.

You’ve got 86,400 seconds to work with and I’d like to encourage you to spend at least a few thousand of them working to make this weight-loss journey you’re on a success.

Yesterday may not have been your best day, but yesterday is dead and gone. Yesterday’s a fading memory, a train that’s long since left the station, a house that’s been boarded up and abandoned.

Today is what’s ahead of you, and it’s a day full of promise and possibility. You can make a positive and lasting change in your life and you can start today. All it takes is attention to the smallest of details. All it takes is being mindful about what you put in your mouth, being attentive to your body’s deep yearning to move. There never seems to be a good time to start, but I say that today’s as good a day as any. Today’s your day to start making your life better.

Tomorrow? We’ll talk about tomorrow tomorrow, but for now, let’s keep our whole and total focus on today. Today’s all we can control, all we can manage, all that we need to worry about for the day’s remaining 86,370 seconds (you’ve already squandered 30 of those precious seconds here… they do have a way of getting away from you, you see).

I started my own journey a little over six months ago, and my big idea was to get through one damn day without screwing up. One day without eating something crappy. One day without grabbing a candy bar out of the vending machine. Try to prove to myself that my car would run–for one day–without food in my mouth. We are so smart, and yet we continue to do such foolish, foolish things.

Some days, especially early in my trek, ended with me counting down those remaining few thousand seconds like a man in prison eyeballing the calendar. “Just get me through the day,” I’d desperately mutter to myself. “Just get me through one more day.”

I’m not going to tell you that changing my set-in-stone mindset wasn’t difficult, that it wasn’t painful. However, I am going to tell you that it got more bearable with time. It got more manageable. It’s still not easy, but it’s a long way from too difficult to manage.

I still end the day with a little quiet reflection of what I accomplished over the past 86,000 and some odd second seconds. And believe me… not screwing up is still a major accomplishment in my book.

I’m not trying to change the world, but I am trying to change myself.

One day at a time.

This day–today–is right here for the taking. I know you, and I know you have the strength and determination to power through a day eating right and doing right. I’m not asking you to do more than you’re capable of and I’m certainly not asking you to do any more than I’m asking of myself.

Let’s get through one good day, and what say we make that day today.

YA!!!

I'm totally back to blogging this beach.
26 points

Shake 4
Steel Cut Oats 3
Veggie Sausage 2
Shake 4
Melba Toast & laughing cow cheese 2
WW String Cheese 1
White Chocolate Macadamia Luna Bar 4
3 cups broccoli 0
Lean Cuisine Chicken Carbonara 5
=25
1 POINT LEFT!!!! YEEEEZZZ!!!!

+ Burned 601 calories at curves.

feeling pretty good :)

Jack Sh*t

I don't know how I found this awesomely funny blog, but I'm so glad that I did!

Just a little excerpt from one of his more serious posts...but good all the same!


You’ve spent a lot of time gazing at that too-fat frame in the mirror, frowning at the double chins and loathing those love handles. You’ve stared hard, trying to locate that thin, healthy person that wants so desperately to get out, wants so badly to take his or her place in this bright shiny world.

You know, I really do want this for you, but at the end of the day, that really matters not a whit. You’ve got to want it for yourself. And when I say you’ve got to want it, I mean something entirely different than “Gee, it sure would be nice if I dropped a few pounds one of these days.” You know as well as I do that one of these days is none of these days. In my mind, wanting it equates to resolution and responsibility, it equates to strength and sacrifice.

I have no doubt that you’ve got fortitude you didn’t even know you had. In fact, we all do. It’s just a matter of finding that reservoir of purpose and persistence that exists deep inside you and tapping into it. Find the strength to embrace healthy life-choices and do what you have to do to push away traps and temptations.

What’s stopping you? Your job? Your family? The stresses of your daunting and difficult life? Puh-leeeze! Don’t tell me it’s too hard, because there’s no damn way this is too hard for you. Too hard is losing a child or being diagnosed with a terminal illness. Too hard is becoming the victim of random violence or facing financial ruin. No matter how dire this weight problem seems, it is something that you can overcome. It is something you are going to overpower.

So again I ask, what’s stopping you? Or let me rephrase the question: why aren’t you doing it today? Six months ago I was in a bad place, feeling (at nearly 300 lbs) both as large as I’ve ever been and, at the same time, as small as I’ve ever been. A small amount of self-confidence, a small amount of pride.

The changes I made in my life were miniscule, in retrospect. They were the common sense corrections that each of us understand is the game plan for successful weight loss… eating less, eating healthier, exercising more. It really doesn’t have to be any more complex than that, but you’ve got to feel it somewhere deeper than your head or your heart. You’ve gotta reach down and find the “want-to” that’s going to power you past every roadblock, every hurdle, every barricade that stands between you and your goals.

If you’re here, reading these words, then chances are you’ve been talking this over with yourself for quite some time, debating your future with your full-figured reflection. Maybe even talking with others about this journey you know in your heart you need to make. Talking’s all well and good, my friend, but I invite you to start walking the walk. Start owning up to the challenge that’s right there in front of you. Start putting your health and happiness as the #1 priority on your to-do list.

When you’re down in a dark hole gripping tightly to a shovel, there’s an illogical, unreasonable temptation to dig, even though digging can’t get you back to safety and can only make a perilous predicament even worse. Now’s the time for you to set aside the spade, take a deep, cleansing breath and start making that long climb back into the sunshine. Climbing is hard work, to be sure, but you know what?

So is digging.